National Lampoon's TV The Movie

National Lampoon may have started as a magazine, but will probably be best remembered for a streak of fondly remembered, very funny 1980's Chevy Chase films, The "Vacation" series or the cult classic, "Animal House". That is, if they veer away from their current route before it's too late. If they don't, than they'll likely be remembered for their awful direct-to-video releases. Styled as a combination of the wave of tasteless sex comedies that came in the wake of "American Pie", most of which, ironically, heavily imitated their own "Animal House" making their DTV catalogue an imitation of an imitation of themselves, and a note-perfect impression of an aging rock star pretending he's still relevant and has the old thunder. And speaking of pretending you're still relevant, here's Steve-O and most of his crew from 90's-00's relic, "Jackass" (for the uninformed videos of Stevie and his boys injuring themselves which got old, charitably, after about a season.). And here they are making hare-brained attempts at SNL sketches with pounds more lowbrow mental waste than even the current SNL staff would even think about adding in.

I really don't even need to go on. The title is the only thing remotely clever about the entire production. Their "parodies" of popular television programs include "jokes" that really have nothing to do with the shows themselves and rarely make much sense to a sober audience, and really not a drunk one either. Here's an example: Miami Mice, it's "Miami Vice", but with two midgets who shoot at each other and pointlessly and uncreatively swear. Laughing yet? Even if you are, you definitely won't be the ninth or tenth time they go back to this "sketch". On the subject of numbers, I should mention this movie is about 2-3 hours long (and feels like 7-8) and features tons of equally unfunny bonus content. This speaks volumes, and perfectly sums up the films intense dedication to the quantity over quality philosophy. Each "sketch" is likely scripted about a minute before shooting, and looks like it was shot on an early nineties homevideo camera. I don't know what else to say. This movie can go straight to hell. It's already halfway there since it orally pleasures Satan.

No stars, no thumbs. No nothing. Awful.

You're not gonna believe this...

Yes. it is indeed me. Gosh, I hope my ego doesn't sound too inflated saying that. Anyway, I have a couple reviews that I have just lying around collecting dust (or the digital equivalent) for one reason or the other. Sometimes I got a bit too colorful, when reviewing some particularly sordid affairs, for the great people at the Chicago Sun to publish, or sometimes I reviewed an obscure or just not theatrically-released film for my own satisfaction with no intent to publish it. I don't want to let these things go to waste, and I've chatted with some people interested in reading them, so, as a personal endeavor and for my fans, I'll be presenting some of my "lost reviews"